A Return To Bipedal Hominidism
Okay. How big a computer nerd do you have to be before you are walking 0.8 miles, and you think, “Man, walking still works pretty reliably to get me around. The old Biped Two-Step is still pretty easy.”
Granted, I’m not in my usual state of mind. Why? Try this:
- Stay out late for beers and all-you-can-eat fish+chips at a local brewery, then stay up some more to play with the new PSP firmware
- Wake up throughout the night due to restless stomach (oh, fish+chips, why must you be so SALTY and OILY)
- Get out of bed unnaturally early (for a Saturday, 6:20 AM will do) to take your car into the mechanic before the 8:00 AM rush
- ??? (I’m close to a breakthrough here. I think “???” might actually be “nap”.)
- Profit! (HAR HAR AS IF. I took my car to a mechanic. I’m in for $188.83 before they even finish the diagnostics on my anti-lock braking system.)
P.S. - Re: “unnaturally early” – For those of you who get up every morning at 5:00 AM and go punch wallabees or whatever it is you do at 5:00 AM, you probably weren’t drowning fried cods in beers at 10:00 PM, so I think we work from different givens. You can have your dark wake-up calls; I’ll take my dark at night when it seems more natural. Besides, by working in shifts, we can oppress the wallabees at all hours.
P.P.S. – Also, if my wife – who is always awake before I am – is so sleepy that I’d rather leave her in bed than have her come pick me up in the 45 degree weather, it must be unnaturally early.
P.P.P.S. – Also, I have made claims that I like this weather, but those claims were necessarily based on memories that were at least a year old. I can now substantiate those claims, though: I enjoyed taking a chilly walk through dry leaves with my knit cap, fleece, jacket and gloves on. My face was pleasantly cold, and the rest of me was not too hot.
P.P.P.P.S. – Given that I program the thermostat at my house, you may now pity my wife.
P.P.P.P.P.S. – Small miracle: I dislike Halloween more every year, but my walk turned up just about zero crazy-zealous Halloween decorations. Unless you count the costumed mannequins in the front window of the… um… “Adult Sleepwear” store down the street. But they’re crazy-zealous year round.
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