If you pay attention to “gaming news” at all, you probably already know about Braid.^[1]  And, if you’ve heard about Braid, you’ve also heard this:

Braid is a very important game, and everyone should be playing it.

I’m not sure what that means^[2], but here’s what I do know.  I started playing Braid with my wife – I handled the gameplay, and we brainstormed over the puzzles – and it was really cool.  I even had a dream that featured one of the more mind-bending time effects.  Then, as family and friends converged onto our couch for a weekend celebration, I showed it off to them, and instead of dismissing it as a shiny toy, most of them jumped in and joined the brainstorm.

So, I guess it’s a party game for brainiacs?  As long as you have one platform-enabled thumbster among you?  Could be.  $15 isn’t much to spend to entertain a room full of people.  ($20, if you add in the cost of a bottle of Advil for the ones that get a migraine.)

If you care for an overview of what makes Braid work so well, I’ve described some of what I noticed after the break.  Spoiler danger: low.

The Visuals: There is far more detail in the backgrounds and characters than necessary for a 2D platforming game.  The overall impression is that the game looks like a painting.  This has very little mechanical effect on the game, but it does make inhabiting its levels more pleasant.  This is handy, as players may have to spend some serious time contemplating and experimenting with each puzzle.

The Audio: Especially in the early worlds, peaceful ensemble pieces (think: classical music) make for a low-pressure gaming experience.  The music was probably also chosen for a more unusual reason – it sounds good backwards as well as forward.  Enemies use a believable sound effect pallette, groaning or crying out as they are dispatched, instead of emitting an unidentifiable, iconic sound.

The Gameplay: Besides solid platforming, Braid is famous for its time-manipulation gameplay.  I can’t go into this too much without risking a spoiler, but I will say that each world introduces or adds a new tool or rule for manipulating time.  Because of this, you may confront what seems like a repeated puzzle, but need to find a new solution.  Or, you will find a new puzzle, but have to choose carefully which tools to use or combine to solve it.

One tool you always have is the ability to move time backwards and forwards at will.  By holding down the X button, you can enter “-1X” time, and by tapping the LB and RB^[3], you can enter -8, -4, -2, -1, 0, 1, 2, 4, and 8X time, much as with a DVD player.  The obvious effect of this is the elimination of a “limited lives” scheme, since you can merely rewind time when you make a fatal error.  A less obvious – but much cooler, to my mind – effect is that you instantly become a Platform Gaming Rockstar.  If you need to jump on an enemy who’s flying through the air, or thread-the-needle between deadly obstacles^[4] during a fall, or avoid an off-screen enemy who’s just about to plummet into your face and kill you, you can rewind time to try over until you get it right.^[5]  So, don’t be discouraged just because your solution to a puzzle requires lightning-fast reflexes and lots of practice.  You have time.

The Level Design: Just as important as the time-manipulation is the level design, and this is really outstanding.

Firstly, the levels are simple and economical.  Getting from one end of each world to the other – one set of achievements^[6]- is really pretty easy, and all it takes to unlock subsequent worlds.  Also, collecting each puzzle piece – the second set of achievements, and necessary to unlocking the end of the game – is relatively straightforward.  You will know what obstacles, paths, enemies and tools are available to you in order to reach each puzzle piece almost immediately, which makes solving the puzzles more an excercise in managing these factors than flailing around in the level, hoping to find the necessary components.

Secondly, the levels are familiar.  They are almost derivative, but I think it’s safe to say that they are in fact homage.  The obvious and intentional parallels with the Super Mario series of games are unescapable, as well as nods to Donkey Kong, Megaman, to name a few other Ye Olde Platformeres.

Thirdly, the levels are clever.  To cite an earlier example, Braid is not ashamed to put you in front of the same puzzle twice, so that you go about your business solving it until – whoops! – you’ve been fooled, because the rules have changed, and the old solution no longer applies.

The Story: This is where my opinion falters a bit.  The story seems to be vaguely emotional, but also pretty abstract, at least as told through the textual narrative you encounter. ^[7]  This story takes on more depth as the game progresses, but it’s hard to say whether or not it resolves.  At one point, the story seems to be resolved, or at least clarified, but then additional text narrative is provided that once again makes everything abstract.  Then again, maybe it just hasn’t clicked for me yet, or I need to see it in light of…

The Backstory: And I’ll admit, I haven’t spent much time looking into this yet.  However, in the most recent Giant Bomb Podcast, Jeff Gerstmann made some references to how much Jonathan Blow committed to this game during its development, even going so far as to forego a salary while he was making it.  Maybe some of that story will show itself in the metaphor of Braid’s story as I look deeper into it?  Who knows, for now.

I will say this:  Do you remember Pulp Fiction?  Do you remember debating what – exactly – was going on in that film?  What was in the briefcase?  I have little doubt that the debate rages on in Internet forums at this exact moment.  Don’t go looking for yourself, unless you have already completed the Epilogue, because there will be spoilers – but there are similar debates going on right now about what Braid’s story actually means.  I don’t put much stock into the quality or scholarly rigor of the debates, but it is impressive to me that anyone cares about the events in the lives of two nearly-anonymous characters (”Tim” and “The Princess”) that exist only in the four-page long narrative and gameplay of a week-old game.

I guess that means Braid is pretty important, after all.

1. I won’t get into a lot of detail about it for that very reason, but you can check out Giant Bomb’s video review (WARNING: The “S” word is used) if you need some background.
2. Especially since it’s only out on XBLA right now!  PC to come later, though.
3. Until I got my own Xbox 360, I wondered what LB and RB are, so if you also wonder, know this!  These are the “bumpers”.  Instead of having two analog buttons by each trigger finger (as with the Playstation 2 controller), the Xbox 360 controller has a pair of triggers with a relatively long throw, and a pair of digital “bumper” buttons.
4. B and I noted that all of the deadly obstacles are “spikes, which are also on fire” just in case you thought you might survive them.
5. ”That’s why he appears to have such quick reflexes. It’s a Jedi trait.”
6. For non-Xbox-ers, “Achievements” are the point-bearing goals that each game sets for you, either in line with or outside of its regular goals.  For instance, Braid has achievements for traversing each world, which you must do to win the game, anyway.  It also has an achievement for completing a speed-run of the game, which is by no means necessary to win the game.
7. Although the concepts can be pretty cool when you can see them.  For instance, World 2 seems to me to indicate a platform game about forgiveness.

On many a Friday night, K and I like to go out with our friends R and B for dinner. And often, I will insist on a place with good, local beer. And that frequently means Emmett’s. As a bonus, Emmett’s has a Friday Prime Rib special and a Friday Fish & Chips special – this does not hurt its case at all.

But on this Friday, things would be different. On this Friday, Unforeseen Circumstances came into play, and the crabs were out in force.

This left me with no real choice. I had to take on the crabs. And several pints of good beer. The aftermath was gruesome, but my foes lay defeated, and – unlike their Black Mesa brethren – devoured.

I learned some important things during this adventure:

• The first pint of beer is most enjoyable if consumed before the food arrives. (Wait, I already knew this, but I keep forgetting it for some reason.)
• Alaskan King Crabs are really spiny. (I have a lot of tiny, superficial holes and scratches in my hands for now.)
• Fingers will get pruny while handling boiled foods. (I personally found this both hilarious and pretty gross.)
• I am capable of consuming a lot of crab – probably much more even than I ate tonight.
• I don’t want to eat that much crab.
• The crab came with vegetables and a baked potato. R posited that the potato was a distraction from the more expensive crab. However, it seems pretty clear now that the potato is a kind of gauge for the crab experience. You still aren’t supposed to eat it, but at some point it will seem like a really good idea to stop eating crab and fill up on the potato, instead. This is the point at which you should stop ordering more crab.
• Do not eat the potato at that point, anyway. It is cold, and probably soggy from boiled vegetable and boiled crab moisture.
• Do not try to eat the little bits of crab that land on the plate as you disassemble the crab legs, unless you also like to eat little bits of shell.
• I do not also like to eat little bits of shell.

R also says it’s really funny that the receipt has a line item for 3 MORE CRAB.

Could she be more right?

Come back, RiffTrax! I hadn’t even bought The Matrix riff yet!

UPDATE

Conor at RiffTrax lets us know in the comments that they’ll be back soon. Hooray!

UPDATE 2

RiffTrax.com is back online.

THE SOCIAL NORM OF LEAVING THE TOILET SEAT DOWN: A GAME THEORETIC ANALYSIS

I’d say I can’t believe anyone would think this hard about anything this trivial, but I’d be lying.

…but this code should DEFINITELY return 5. (Let the insinuations that I invented xkcd seven years or so in the past begin… now.)

Herb: I was building your new house in the new version of sketchup, but it CARASHEDDD
Herb: Oh well
Dave: Wait.
Dave: The one with tubes?
[On the previous day, Dave and I were discussing the possibilities of constructing a house that features a system of Jefferies Tubes.]
Herb: OF COURSE
Dave: Man.
Dave: Unfortunately, in real life, Jefferie’s tubes would be a breeding ground for Racoons.
Herb: Have you seen The Andromeda Strain?
Dave: Nay.
Dave: Only read it.
Herb: They solved their “animals in the tubes” problem. WITH LASERS.
Herb: I don’t recall if that part was in the book, or only in the movie.
Herb: But, you know.
Herb: LASERS.
Dave: Hmm.
Dave: Stupid racoons.
Herb: Well, you’d have to empty the carcass traps once in a while.
Dave: Naw, dude.
Dave: Racoomba.

Public service announcement? Wacky experiment? Potential widespread corruption of engineering students? You decide.

With RiffTrax, a sort of DIY MST3K for (shall we say) less obscure films! Yeeeeeessssss! (h/t Lileks)

via xkcd

(Note: IANAD) Now that Road Rage has been granted its own disease classification (although “Road Rage Syndrom” may well be a specific instance of IED[0]), I’m going to propose a classification of my own, rough-hewn from one of my more persistent pet peeves. Confused Homophone in Idiomatic Language Syndrome (CHILS) is my provisional name for the prevalent disease in which the afflicted substitutes an incorrect word into textual communication, muddling the meaning of the altered phrase.[1] When spoken, such errors would be undetectable.

  For the purpose of diagnosing CHILS, we keep a rather loose definition of the term “idiom” which includes phrases in common use for which the origins and meanings are still widely known, instead of only those phrases which have lost their original meanings to the general English-speaking community (i.e. “keep tabs on”). The reason for this inclusion is that the appearance of CHILS calls into question whether the meaning of a phrase is actually still generally known. (By way of example, let us consider the phrase “the right to bear arms”, which may be rendered “the right to bare arms” by a CHILS sufferer. An English speaker can still learn the meaning of this phrase by direct reading, and the CHILS sufferer probablyly knows the meaning of the phrase as a phrase. However, he usage of the word “bare” instead of “bear” indicates that he is either ignorant of the meaning of that word, or has some other issue.[2]) Some other examples:

• odd manor – a house whose residents exhibit strange behaviors, perhaps
• baited breath – an ancient sashimi preparation in which live fish simply jump into open mouths, and the slicing is done with one’s teeth
• standard fair – the same old midway, year after year
• inciteful – (one of my favorites, as it’s not even a proper word) your comments have enlightened me… and provoked me to violence!
• peak my interest – no, please don’t go on with this topic, it’s all downhill from here
• weather or not – we shall persist, even if the atmosphere suddenly boils away into the void of space
• and many phrases use my old friend its, who has been nearly put out of a job by his[3] cousin it’s

To me, this is an interesting phenomenon syndrome, because it is displayed where people are communicating casually through the “new” textual media[4]. I noticed it at first while conversing via ICQ in the mid-90’s, but as most of that communication was with engineering students, I was persuaded by the same that spelling was of no concern to the vast majority of those in the scientific classes of our society. However, with others now joining conversations in blog comments across the internet, it is clear to me that CHILS is not limited to those who prefer the elegant application of numbers to the vulgar weaving of words.

I am sure that I show symptoms of CHILS from time to time[5], but due to a number of factors informing my life’s experiences, I spent a great deal of my childhood and young adulthood with my nose crammed into the spines of hundreds and hundreds of defenseless books. As such, my vocabulary and idiomatic understanding are heavily based in text, and not in verbal tradition. Interestingly, this results in another condition (which may not currently be common enough to support disease classification, as I only know of myself and my wife to be afflicted) in which one can understand and communicate words textually yet have no idea how to actually pronounce many of them. This is a cause of great embarrassment to me, which is probably compounded by the fact that it elicits[6] both confused and derisive reactions from the purported communicant. I wonder if similar embarrassment is felt by those who suffer from CHILS? (I am hesitant to attempt an observation at this point, lest it be viewed as a screed against the evils of technology in society, which would be an activity anathema to my entire career, interest and even personality. But, at that risk…) My first guess is that this is the result of a shift in the way that our culture is communicating[7]. For the span of my childhood and decades before it, television and radio were primary conduits of information and learning, both intentionally (through documentaries, cultural and educational programming) and unintentionally (everything else[8]). Now we are advancing into a textual medium, and although we know the meanings of the phrases we have been uttering, we no longer know how they are constructed. We have divorced the meanings of phrases from the meanings of words. Either that, or folks just don’t know how to spell[9]. [0] On the other hand, who cares? This is The Internet. Where we’re going, we won’t NEED facts.
[1] Ensuing hilarity is optional.
[2] I will concede that it is also possible that he thinks this is a reference to the uncovering of concealed weaponry, or the act of rolling up sleeves in order to more effectively use a weapon. The possibilities are endless.
[3] Or “its”, I guess
[4] ZOMG… INTERNETS!
[5] Just as I occasionally show symptoms of Road Ra.. HEY PAL, YOU WANT TO WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING? I’M TRYING TO TYPE A BLOG POST HERE! YEAH? WHY WOULD THEY SELL ME THIS MOBILE BROADBAND CARD IF I WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE LIVE BLOGGING MY COMMUTE, HUH? OH, AND YOU DON’T TYPE AND DRIVE, I’M SURE! Sorry, where was I?
[6] Not “illicits”
[7] Yeah, it’s revolutionary, I know. Also, more of us are now eating with chopsticks. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR AMERICA?
[8] Especially MacGuyver.
[9] Next week: WHY ON FREAKING EARTH DID YOU PUT THAT IN QUOTES

This HIGH-PRIORITY UPDATE for Windows XP will be installed by your system as soon as possible, as it is vital to the continued proper operation of your PC, apparently. By all means, if you do not have Automatic System Modifications enabled, please visit Microsoft Update as soon as humanly possible to ensure the speedy correction of this vulnerablility before ne’er-do-wells exploit your system and possibly run software for which Microsoft does not receive royalty payments. Also, be sure to visit the “More information” link if you crave the “Confidence and Peace of Mind” that only “knowing that your software is legitimate and fully supported” can bring. If the photos accompanying this “informative” page are to be taken into account, you will also feel compelled to hug your computer. Awwwwww!