I decided that the previous name of this blog was becoming unseemly, so it is now “The Puffin Perch”.  Maybe I’ll finish some of those drafted posts now that I won’t be embarrassed to have people find them.  But no promises!

Once I have time to descend back into the Jeffries Tubes around here, I’ll get it sorted.

My blog posts that go over 140 characters seem wasteful and bulky, so now they’re rare(r) (but not extinct).  Twitter feed is here.

Every once in a while, Canthros pocket-dials me.  I always wonder why he’s calling, until he doesn’t answer my “Hello,” and I hear his footsteps.  Then I know that he didn’t actually mean to call.

Yesterday, my phone rang as I pulled into the parking lot at work.  It turned out to be another pocket-dial from Canthros, but I thought I heard a rhythmic honking sound.  I chalked this up to an audio artifact, but I guess I should have paid it more heed.

(Maybe I could cull out some of the weaker feeds… but even if I did that right now, I’m still going to see my friends’ 130 shared items in the morning about the Congress, guns, Libertarianism, and novelty cupcakes.)

Is it (really) okay to declare Reader Jubilee from time to time and hit the “Mark All As Read” button?  After all, sharing with friends is a communications protocol, and so that might be construed as analogous to not reading my mail!  Sure, I’ve played the “I saw that you shared it, but didn’t click through” card, but will “Reader Jubilee” really play?

Also, is it just me, or are you also falling victim to Really Substantial Syndication?

1. Not quitting NetFlix, though.  I have little use for the DVD rental service, but it’s worth a handful of bills each month to be able to stream Duck Soup to the Xbox on demand.

pedant:  bahahaha

I pulled up its properties, and told it to “Verify integrity of game cache…” which I remember being key to a number of problems.  I chugged my hard drives as hard as possible for 5 minutes, and then the properties window disappeared.  “Left 4 Dead” in the Steam window became “Left 4 Dead (0%)”, and further investigation reveals that the game would like to saturate my downsteam bandwidth for about two hours, and then maybe it will feel like playing with me.

Forget this noise; I have actual games in the next room.

I’m still not sure how scary the game itself is, but the process of trying to play it is a terrifying reminder of why my desire to play PC games is waning:

Pre-purchase the game and pre-load the game content.  Steam makes this easy.  Here, Valve, is lots of my money!  Here, Steam, is lots of my bandwidth and disk space!

Some weeks after release, decide to play the game.  Double-click the game’s icon to play it! …except instead of a game about zombies, I get a window telling me to update my video drivers or risk destruction.  It includes a link to nVidia’s website, which asks me which of 55 different video cards I have – a quick trip into Windows Device Manager tells me it is a pair of GeForce 8600 GTs, which I happen to know are working together via SLI – and starts feeding me the driver…

…at 14 KBps, which will take hours.  A quick trip to Google tells me that my old friends Guru3D are mirroring this download, which comes down at nearly 200KBps – as fast as possible with my current connection.  Yay!  Installing the drivers takes between 10 and 20 minutes, including the time it takes to remember that the installer turns off SLI, and getting it turned back on (via another dedicated control panel).

Ahh, that wasn’t so bad, was it?  Double-click the game’s icon to play it! …except instead of a game about zombies, I get a window telling me that it is decrypting the game content.  This takes about 10-15 more minutes, and when it’s done, it just goes away.

Still, not so bad, right?  It’s still at within an hour of when I decided to try the game, and if gaming is arguably a zero-benefit activity^[1], then upgrading drivers and waiting for decryption is an activity of similar value.  Of course, I also didn’t pay cash money to install drivers, but let’s not split hairs.

Instead, let’s double-click the game’s icon to play it! …except instead of a game about zombies, I get a window telling me that it’s has to download some game content.

K finishes making steaks, so I retreat from the computer room.  DAY 1 OF TRYING TO PLAY LEFT 4 DEAD COMPLETE.  RESULT: FAILURE.

It all reminds me of this, and not in a good way.  But today, I have no plans, so I’ll give it another go.  Since the game finished downloading content sometime last week, I should be good to go!

Double click the game’s icon to play it!  …except instead of a game about zombies, I get… nothing?  The game does not even try to launch, and it does not send any of its other windows to me to explain why.  The HDD LED blinks a few times, something has happened, butI have no idea what.

I find myself about to reboot the computer, check for updates, and then hit the forums for information.  I have no idea how long this will take, and I’m starting to lose the capacity to care.  I played Gemcraft for an hour today, and all I had to do was go to a website!  I could have done that on my laptop!

These days, there is very little that I want to do with Windows, and I know that this box would make an excellent Ubuntu workstation.  The main thing holding me back is the fact that I want a gaming PC more than I want an Ubuntu workstation^[2], but if all a gaming PC is good for is installing drivers and eating bandwidth, I wonder why I bother.

(What to do… Beautiful Katamari on the big screen in the living room, or rebooting and trawling forums in the back room…)

1. I would argue that it is not, but by so arguing I would admit that it is arguable, at least.
2. I already have a Mac Mini running Ubuntu on this desk, so the marginal benefit would be in the faster processor, larger RAM capacity, and increased 3D capability – none of which are particularly compelling to me in a Linux context right now.  Also, I am running iTunes and PlayOn on the Windows machine, and I’d have to find a way to run those – probably a problem for virtualization to handle.

On The Xbox:

• Wrapped up Fallout 3 today, and I have to say, I agree with everyone who thinks it kinda stinks that the game ends at the end of the main quest.  (Granted, this is a video game, and so within its borders we do have the power of time travel.  I could just load up my last save before the last leg of the quest and go do anything else.  I could even just start again with a new character, which I hear is popular.  I just kind of miss the “coda” phase of open-world games, in which everything important is done, and you can roll around and check out what you missed before.)
• Probably already mentioned Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts – I had taken a hiatus from Fallout 3 in order to play it straight through from start to finish.
• Also played Saints Row 2 straight through, because I wasn’t ready to go back to the Wasteland just yet.  (Saints Row 2 stays open after you finish the main quest, but in that case, I had already pretty much done everything you can do in the game, short of finishing a few of the side games and mopping up the Achievements – which I’m not really interested in doing.  Banjo stays open, too, but again, short of beating all the records, I’m done in there.  Both games will occupy the same space as the completed GTA games: I will pull them out when I want to do a bit of what the game has to offer, without getting too involved.  After 6-24 months, I will probably replay each of them from the beginning, as well.)
• In turn, I had taken a hiatus from Fable II to play Fallout 3.  I may even restart Fable II from the beginning, depending on where I left off.  However, given the fact that money (from land and shop ownership) accrues in that game even when you’re not logged into it, I may have some pretty heavy motivation to stay with my current character.  That game is so much fun to play, and apparently to watch, that I’m really looking forward to getting back into it.
• Tried out The Maw today, and the world did not exactly shift beneath my feet.  Given some of what I’ve read online, you’ll have to forgive me for that expectation.  Still, it looks like a clever game, and I’ll probably wing the 800 points at it when I want a diversion, or a new game for K to enjoy.
• Still halfway through Mega Man 9 on the Xbox, and most of the way through on the Wii.  I haven’t felt the need for that kind of platforming for a few weeks, so it’s collecting virtual dust at the moment.  I’m also disappointed that its internal Challenges system is not tied to its Achievements on XBox Live.  There a lot of Challenges, ranging from simple body counts to feats of refined skill, and I’d like to share that information with my friends in a way that does not require me to call them up and say, “Hey, I just beat my 1,000th enemy!”
• Resurrected Test Drive Unlimited when my K’s mom was staying the night, because I wanted to play a game, but wanted something completely non-violent.  That game is so strangely compelling to me, and it seems like it shouldn’t be.  Yet I find myself struggling against the game to be a better driver and take in bigger prizes and buy better cars, even though Burnout Paradise is ready and willing to just let me fly down the streets and smash into everything I see with little penalty.  I’ve decided to buy a second copy of TDU when next I see it – to get the case and manual, which my first copy lacks – and then I’ll give my spare disc to my (racing fan) boss to play.

On The PC:

• I like to play Tower Defense games, and NUD is cool, but…
• …other than that, I’ve been avoiding my PC, because it runs Windows, and I don’t much care even for Windows gaming anymore, since I have a system in the next room that lets me play games in a superior A/V environment for almost no effort at all.  In fact, it plays most of the same games these days, and will even let me play them online.  It even lets me play games with my wife in the room, sharing the experience and presence.  This is really hard to beat.  However, my friends are still PC gamers, at least when it comes to playing together…
• …and now TribesNext is out.  If anything can get me back onto a PC, it’s Tribes 2, and so that is what they have done.  I’m trying to port over all my configs from my old Tribes install today.
• Left4Dead is a PC game for me, too.  Valve hates the consoles and only loves PC gamers^[1], so I buy all my Valve games on the PC.  So, I pre-bought L4D long before I read any reviews.  Then I read the reviews, and all the reviewers gush about how they haven’t been this genuinely scared by a game, possibly ever.  And I think, “I don’t like to be scared,” so I have been giving it a pass.  I may have to actually launch the game, soon, just out of curiosity.
• I should probably play some more EVE Online, just long enough to remember why I don’t like it.

On the PSP and DS:

• DS status: still don’t like it.  Played a bit of Lock’s Quest, which is okay, but not quite tower defense, which is what I wanted.  Compared the DS version of Chrono Trigger with the PSX version running on my PSP, and decided that I would play the PSX version and give the DS version to K (who has been playing rather a lot of it).  Will I still buy a DSi?  Um.  Probably!
• Got all the way to the final boss in Final Fantasy for the PSP, and remembered that there is one reason why you need a White Mage in this game.  Too bad for my party, I don’t have a White Mage.  Nor do I have a lot of chunks of 30 minutes where all I want to do is battle my way through a difficult dungeon only to inevitably perish at the hands of a deity-boss who is harder than every other beast in the game, combined.  So.  I guess I’m not finishing FF again.
• Got to the President in FFVIII and lost interest for a bit.  We’ll see where that goes.
• Brave Story: New Traveler, why have you coupled such a fun combat system with such a cartoony story?  Oh yes, that’s right, you’re made for kids.  Oh, well, I still like you alright.
• Monster Hunter watch update:  Nope, still sucks.
• Hot Shots Golf Open Tee 2 is now in the bag.  It’s not even an open-world game, and it still has a good coda!  After the credits roll, you are promoted from “Platinum” to “Black” level, and compete to unlock the rest of the accessories.

So, that’s games.

1. Or at least, given the fact that all of their patches and content updates seem to be PC-only, it seems that way.

Every once in a while, I read a blog post that originated somewhere in coastal California about some great new wisdom they’ve uncovered over there: looking at printed typesetting for web design tips, or reading bound books for entertainment, or using scraps of paper to carry information, or finding joy in learning to knit… and I get this unsettling vision of travelers returning to Earth in blazing white and chrome, Apple-branded spacecraft, gaping and grinning with wonder as they discover that they can make noise by banging two rocks together, and cook over a fire.

Sez Punchdrunkmonkeyman.com:

I haven’t been able to finish any of these Pokémon games since I picked up something to play them on. It’s kind of shameful, and I don’t really know if the problem is an inability to save state or the general lack of critters I like. I’m 75$ certain it’s the latter.

(I think he meant 75%, not $75 – although I’m sure both of us have chucked far more than that amount after these little beasts.)

On one occasion, PDMM came to visit me and K, and we spent a few hours one afternoon sitting three-across on the couch, playing Pokémon on our DSes.  I remember that it was a lot of fun, and I made a mental note that I should play more often.

Then I did, and remembered:  I liked Pokémon, not Little Boy Walks Around Dismally In The Woods After Dark.

You see, my problem with these games (since Pokémon Crystal) is that all of the games are now on a stupid real-time clock. ^[1]  That means that if you are playing at 8 AM, it’s morning in the game, and at 8 PM, it’s night. Different creatures appear depending on the time of day, which gives a clear incentive for playing at different times.  This is a neat idea.

Also, to indicate that it is nighttime, the game’s palette becomes very desaturated and dark, giving a dim and gloomy overtone to the entire game world.  For my purposes, this is considerably less neat.

Guess what?  I have a job during the day, so I’m mostly playing games at night, and if I wanted dim and gloomy, I have any number of modern shooting games to play. ^[2]  Furthermore, I’m not so into the Pokémon games that I’m interested in playing over lunch, or first thing in the morning before work, or every weekend.  It is a diversion, not a religion.

(I have also experimented with adjusting the clock.  For a while, I was actually playing Pokémon on Tokyo time.  For some reason, this became disorienting, especially when I wanted to play any other game that interfaced with the system clock, such as Animal Crossing.  It was also irritating, because I was very conscious of circumventing some part of the game in order to enjoy it.  I have played – and attempted to play – enough PC games to get my fill of that particular sensation.)

I’ll admit, the real-time clock concept seemed pretty cool at first.  But whether it’s in Pokémon, Animal Crossing, or really any game, synchronizing the game clock to the real world clock is actually harmful to any sense of immersion, and by extension, fun.  It’s just one more annoying gimmick that will keep me from playing.^[3]

I’m sure that these features are part of a scheme to keep kids from playing games for too long at a sitting, and they’re just working too well on me.  Still, I’m stuck inside while the real sun is out.  Don’t you dare keep me locked out of virtual daytime, too.

1. Before Pokémon Crystal, my problem was simply that I didn’t have a GameBoy.
2. I even have DOOM 3, which is pitch black and scary.  That’s like dim and gloomy taken to the extreme.  Also, it is stupid.  That’s like irritating taken to the extreme.  I guess that means that DOOM 3 is basically just Extreme Pokémon.
3. Here is where I narrowly avoid ranting at length about Nintendo’s various and egregious stupidities of the past few years.  Perhaps in another post.

With the likes of Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis at Giant Bomb decrying Mega Man 9 as way hard, I wondered if maybe I had made a bad decision in buying fully three copies of this downloadable gem.^[1]

However, a Gamasutra article about the game gave me hope that I could get along with the challenge.  Now, at my in-laws’ house, I have determined experimentally that I am, in fact, still a hard enough dude to enjoy some Mega Man, by knocking out Galaxy Man, Jewel Man, and Plug Man already, and itching for more (once Dad’s done watching the Rose Bowl).

(However, I’m not too hard a dude to appreciate this little guide.)

1. One on XBLA, one on my Wii, and one along with a copy of Mega Man 2 on my youngest brother’s Wii.  This last one was so that I could play in our PA hotel room, but also so that he’ll have a chance to hone his skills.

When I was a kid, I’d use my construction toys (Lego, K-Nex, etc.) to build various fantastic vehicles and then push or hoist them around the house.  BKNB is that, all over again, but you build the vehicles and operate them in fantastic environments to complete challenges.  As you progress, you can also unlock more and more parts to make progressively crazier vehicles.

I probably don’t have to say anything more than that, since there’s a demo out.  The difficulty curve seems to be shallow enough that kids and casual gamers should be able to play it, too, if they enjoy it.

Attention, family members who have been asking me about my wish lists:

I have now vetted my Amazon.com and Thinkgeek.com wish lists.  They now contain nothing that I already own.

Yay!

You know how First Person Shooter games sometimes have jumping puzzles in them?  And they’re really hard, because you can’t see your body?  And a high-definition screen and surround sound does not really make up for the lack of depth perception and proprioception?

Mirror’s Edge is all those stupid jumping puzzles made into a game.  I’m going to keep trying to make this work, but I can’t help wondering:  Did DICE make this game because they found a way to make this into a good idea, or because console gamers don’t play a lot of FPSes, and don’t already know this is a terrible idea?

If it’s the former, then I need to practice, because my current gaming skills aren’t giving me “awesome first-person running and jumping” except in very short spurts.  The sense of speed in straightaways is breathtaking, but I think I’ve gotten more sense of speed in the race to terminal velocity and sudden, terminal deceleration.

If it’s the latter… well, I knew this game would be a gamble going into it, but I’d still miss those sixty bucks.